


Me and My Husband Play Truth or Drink (Eric and Jack)

by ICarryDeathOnMyWings



Series: Truth or Drink [4]
Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Dialogue-Only, Drinking, Fluff, Idiots in Love, M/M, Truth or Drink, drunk boys, talking bout sex, y'all there is still so much talk of sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-18
Updated: 2020-10-18
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:40:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27074380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ICarryDeathOnMyWings/pseuds/ICarryDeathOnMyWings
Summary: Zimbits get drunk and play truth or drink
Relationships: Eric "Bitty" Bittle/Jack Zimmermann
Series: Truth or Drink [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1971985
Comments: 8
Kudos: 128





	Me and My Husband Play Truth or Drink (Eric and Jack)

**Author's Note:**

> Y'all had to hvae known it was coming :) I love my boys so of course they had to get their own story.

**Me and My Husband Play Truth or Drink (Eric and Jack)**

“We're the Bittle-Zimmermann’s!” 

“You have to say our first names, bud.” 

“Yeah, I know but saying ‘Bittle-Zimmermann will never get old. It’s- it’s a good name.” 

“The best, yes. But you still have to introduce us.” 

“This is my husband Jack Bittle and I’m Eric Zimmermann.” 

“Haha. I bet you think you’re cute.” 

“I absolutely do.” 

Producer: “How long have you two been together?” 

“Six years, eh? Long time.” 

*pours them a shot each* “Here’s to many, many more.” 

~~

“When was the last time you masturbated and where was I?”   
  
“I was in the shower, so you had to have been in the kitchen-” 

“Oh! Was this the other day when I woke up cranky?” 

“It was… what were you cranky about anyway?” 

“Dream-you made fun of my pies.” 

“Bits don’t pout like that, I would never make fun of your pies.” 

“But it felt real! I was fine once the morning cobwebs left.” 

~~

“What’s your least favorite sexual position and why?” 

“All sex with you is good sex but- you know this already, I don’t like to sixty-nine.” 

“No, you’re too small-” 

“Jack Laurent Bittle-Zimmermann, I am of the perfect height, thank you very much. But I am too much smaller than you for that.” 

~~

“When was the last time you faked an orgasm.” 

“I- can I even- can we even fake that sort of thing?” 

“I don’t think so. You’d look awfully ridiculous doin’ it. So the answer is never, then?” 

“Of course.”

~~

“If I was put in a coma-” 

“I don’t want to answer this question.” 

“Sweetpea, it’s hypothetical-” 

“Doesn’t matter. I’ve seen you get hit, Bits, a few times, and my heart is in my throat every time. Even thinking about something so serious happening to you- no. Don’t read it, I’m taking a shot.” 

~~

“What would you think if you caught me watching porn?”

“Well, you don’t watch porn-” 

“I do not. Why would I? I mean look at you--” 

“Flatterer. But, hypothetically? I’d probably ask to join you.” 

“There’d be nothing to join because the second you walked in? It’d be off. And not because I was embarrassed but because you’re way hotter.” 

“But we’d be having sex.”

“Haha, for sure.”

~~

“Name two celebrities you’d want to sleep with if we weren’t together.” 

“Beyonce. But I wouldn’t really sleep with her, I’d just… I dunno, sit in the same room as her and watch her go about her daily life.” 

“Bud, that’s so creepy.” 

“I know! I’m sorry, I just- I love her so much, Jack.” 

“What about the other one?” 

“Hm,” *takes a shot* “Sidney Crosby.” 

“ _Take that back!”_

~~

“What’s the craziest thing, sexually, you’ve ever done with an ex?” 

“Euh, I let one of them tie me up but that’s it.” 

“Oh, honey, that’s so boring.” 

“What about you then, hm?” 

“I don’t _have_ any exs.” 

“Then my point is made. Thank you very much.” 

~~

“If our sex life was a genre of porn, what would it be?” 

“...gay?” 

“I feel like you’ve got to be more specific-” 

“I don’t know! Amateur?” 

“Oh, that’s a good one. I wouldn’t have thought of that. You know, Shitty says if you have to watch porn, you should watch the amateur stuff.”

~~

“Are you attracted to any of my friends?” 

"Tater, yes. For sure.” *takes a shot*

“Haha. I know you’re joking but he will _never_ let this go. I hope you know what you’ve done.” 

“I know exactly what I just did, and it’s why I did it. Tater, if you’re watching this, I love you.”

~~

“When did you know for sure you wanted to marry me?” 

“That first summer-” 

“Jack Laurent- that soon? We hardly saw each other.” 

“Yes! You’re perfect, bud, everything about you and I knew that there was no one else for me. You made me feel things so strongly and deeply… what about you?” 

“My answer really isn't any better! It was when you came to the Haus after I sent you all those messages… you puttin’ in so much effort for me… that was it for me.”

~~

“Would you ever consider and open-” 

“Absolutely not. I don’t think we’d ever find anyone I’m as attracted to as you, bud.” 

“The world is going to think you’re saying these things to get in my pants but you really just talk like this all the time.” 

~~

“What's the one thing you’d change about me? Please say make my cowlick lay flat.” 

“I love your cowlick! I would make it bigger.” 

“No! Fine, keep the cowlick, what would you change? Really?” 

“Nothing! I love each and every thing about you- well, I’d make you do the laundry more.” 

“I do the!- oh, no, you’re right, you do it. But you leave your underwear around!” 

“But I then pick it up when I do the laundry, it’s a tradeoff.” 

~~

“What was on your mind the last time we had sex?” 

“Hm, oh, that was just last night, wasn’t it? I- I’m sorry, honey, I was thinking about the groceries we had to get this morning before coming here- But I was also thinking about you! You did manage to distract me. 

“Oh, well, glad I was able to keep you occupied.” 

P: “What about you?” 

“Me? I only ever think of him.” 

“Aw, now I seem like the worst partner-” *takes a shot* 

~~

“When did you fall in love with me?” 

“I realized when we were baking for Ately’s class, and you were talking about leavin’ and you were covered in flour and the sun was makin’ your eyes sparkle. That’s when I realized that I was in love with you. I panicked, of course. I thought you were straight. But you’re not! And I’m the one with your last name. What about you?” 

“Euh, when my dad told me to say goodbye to you. It was like… there was a voice in my head telling me I was an idiot-” 

“Was it Shitty’s voice?” 

“It was Shitty’s voice. But I knew then that I was in love with you. Still am.”

~~

“What does your family honestly think about me?” 

“Well, they think you’re just the best thing sliced bread! When I brought him home, before they knew we were together, he really changed their whole lives. I don’t think they can imagine our family without you in it now. 

“I can’t imagine not having them around either.” 

~~

“Read the last sext I sent to you.” *takes a shot* 

“Alright, it was… just the other day-” 

“Wait, wait, wait. I want to read one that Jack sent me first. I said ‘guess you’ll have to send me hot texts tonight’ and, my beautiful, wonderful dork of a husband said ‘if I had eight limbs like an octopus I’d touch you with all of them’.” 

“I think that’s one of my better sexts. But- okay, here’s one that I have from Bits- actually, no, I can’t read this out loud. Euh-” *takes a shot* 

~~

“What was your first impression of me?” 

“I’m not sure I’ve ever told you this-” 

“No, you haven’t. You know what I thought of you.” 

“Everyone knows that- what do you think my first impression was?” 

“You didn’t like me! Obviously, I was messin’ up your hockey plans by not being good enough.” 

“Euh, yeah. No. Sort of. My first thought of you ever was ‘oh no he’s beautiful’, I think followed by ‘I could fit his whole butt in my hand’-” 

“Which you can-” 

“I’m more than a little grateful that I’ve discovered this. But I was more aggravated that you were making me feel things that I shouldn’t have been feeling until _after_ I was drafted. My aggression was from unchecked attraction.” 

~~

“Is there anything important that we disagree on?” 

“Nothing that’s… super important? The only thing that comes to mind is money- which may sound bad to y’all! But it’s not like that. We don’t spend a lot usually. On big things but I’m from small-town Georgia, I’m not used to all this. But Jack likes to spoil me, and sometimes it’s still a bit uncomfortable. I know we can afford it but I always feel like I _shouldn’t_. Listen to me, I sound like such a spoiled rich brat.” 

“We donate a lot of money too, I want that to be out there. We don’t hoard our money so that I can get him extravagant gifts… not that I do that often. Sometimes. Usually cooking appliances.” 

~~

"Are there any fantasies that we haven't talked about doing?"

"Euh, no. We've... talked about them."

P: “What's one you want to do but haven't yet?”

"He bought me heels-"

"Can't believe you're exposing me like this, Bits-"

"And I haven't worn them yet because they're really expensive heels! And I'm afraid to ruin them."

"You're wearing them in the house! How could they be ruined?"

"I'll drop food on them!"

"You have never, ever dropped food. And anyway, why would you be baking in them anyway? Wait, never mind. Ridiculous question, I know why."

"Because all I ever do is bake-"

"Crisse, we should stop talking about this now. I've got ideas in my head and people are filming us. You're a terrible, horrible influence."

"You love me."

"More than anything."

~~

“Why do you love me? Sweetpea, don’t cry, you haven’t even answered the question yet. I love you so much, you’re makin’ _me_ cry.” 

“That’s not that hard, bud-” 

“ _Hey-”_

“To answer the question. I can’t put it into words. I can’t- you’re the best person I know in every single way. You’re selfless, you’re caring, you’re so smart. Not to mention the most beautiful person in the room. Your smile outshines the sun- but you always push me to do better, you make me a better person and I-” 

“I love you so much, honey.” 

“I love you too, bud. Can we get married again?” 

“You ridiculous man.” 

~~

P: “How did doing that feel? Learn anything?” 

“I don’t think we learned anything, we’ve always been pretty open.” 

“I remembered why I liked Haus parties so much. I feel _good_ right now. Maybe when we get home I’ll put those heels on for you, sweetpea!” 

“As much as I’d love that, bud, let’s wait ‘til we’re sober.” 

“Aw, I love when you kiss me on the forehead. Makes me feel all soft.” 

“I love you.”  
  


**~~Bonus Content~~**

**OG Stanley Cup Champs**

**Third**

Sidney Fucking Crosby 

**Marty**

Tater too

**Third**

Your boy has horrible taste in men Jack 

**You**

Can’t be that bad, he’s married to me

**Third**

Point still stands 

**Tater**

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAH tell b i call crosby just for him 

**You**

No

**Tater**

he move on from you i take him 

**Tater**

i text him and tell him 

**Tater**

we get dinner together 

**Tater**

i woo him 

**You**

You can have him for all the trouble he’s causing me now 

**You**

Should see his face. He’s proud of himself

**Tater**

B IF YOU READ THIS I LOVE YOU TOO

**Author's Note:**

> 1) They were 100% playing footsie under the table  
> 2) when they weren't drinking, or Bitty wasn't throwing his hands around, they were holding hands over the table, okay? Cool   
> 3) Jack's celebs are Harrison Ford and Brendan Fraser specifically from 'The Mummy'
> 
> I love this one and I hope you do too!


End file.
